The Erroneous Apostrophe!
I don’t know about you, my fellow Bloggers… but there’s a rash of erroneous apostrophes out there! Slipping in to writing where they’re not wanted – nor indeed needed. Size of blog post is irrelevant. Long post, short post, it’s all the same to the Apostrophe. I mean we all know the rules. You want readers, post likes – ultimately followers?
Of course you do.
Ergo: you check your posts religiously.
Yet, it doesn’t matter how many times I check through my work; the blighters still creep in to it. They are relentless: cunning even. Until you start teaching English, you don’t notice their inexorable route march through written English. I used to put their presence in an essay down to student error. I’d explain the rules – the kids would nod wisely. The errors would vanish; I would breathe a sigh of relief… and the errors would reoccur after a suitable and timely interval.
Now my timetable is solely English, I’m reaching the conclusion that the Apostrophe is slowly and surely taking over the world.
Don’t believe me?
Look in your newspaper, on the handbill that drops through your door; look at the signs in shops, on menus and bills of fare. Those are things that people check for such errors; they are riddled with them.
The Apostrophe waits until you have pressed that publish button… then it strikes. Still don’t believe me? Go back and check a post you had every confidence in. What’s the odds that there is one?
Mind you, if you’re looking for it, it wont be there. It’s like I know there’s not going to be a single one of those darned erroneous apostrophes in this offering.
That’s because the Apostrophe is not only alive; it’s omniscient.
Now I’m afraid. Afraid of creepy mean apostrophes. I’ll be on the lookout.
You’re right. They creep in when they know I’m off guard. It’s a conspiracy….
it had to be said!